“Are You a Giraffe?”: The Art of Not Taking It Personally
There’s a moment—usually in traffic, at work, or somewhere in a comment section—when someone says something that hits you the wrong way. Your jaw clenches. Your blood pressure spikes. You feel that heat behind your ears. And for what?
Words.
Just… words.
Now, I’m not saying words are meaningless. We all know they can cut like a knife. But here’s the truth that changed everything for me, and that I try to live by every single day:
Words only have power if you give them power.
And insults? They’re like unwanted gifts. If you don’t accept them, they’re not yours to carry.
The Buddha and the Gift Nobody Asked For
One day, a man came to Buddha and unleashed a torrent of insults. Just laid into him. But the Buddha? He stayed calm. Peaceful. The man finally asked why he wasn’t reacting.
And Buddha said:
“If someone offers you a gift, and you decline to accept it, to whom does the gift belong?”
Mic. Drop.
In other words, if someone hurls anger, judgment, or name-calling your way—and you don’t pick it up—it stays right where it came from: with them.
Lesson from a Six-Year-Old (and a Giraffe)
That lesson hit home for me in a very real way when my son was about six years old. He came home from school one day—clearly upset. I could see it all over his face.
“Dad,” he said, “I got in trouble today.”
Naturally, I asked what happened.
“I got mad because this kid said I was gay,” he told me.
I paused.
“That made you mad?” I asked.
“Yeah,” he said, still fuming.
So I asked him something that completely flipped the script:
“Would you have been mad if he said you were a giraffe?”
He looked at me like I was nuts.
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m not a giraffe.”
I just looked at him for a second. Then I asked:
“Are you gay?”
“No!”
“Then why are you mad?”
You could see the gears turning in his head. It clicked.
And to this day, when he starts getting worked up about something someone said, I’ll ask him, “Are you a giraffe?”
We both laugh, but he knows what it means: Don’t let someone else’s words become your truth—especially when they’re not true.
Badges, Bait, and Boundaries
When I was on the job as a police officer, I heard all kinds of things from people trying to push my buttons. One that popped up more than once?
“You wouldn’t be so tough if you didn’t have that badge on your chest!”
And I’d always reply calmly:
“If I didn’t have this badge on my chest, I wouldn’t be here talking to you.”
Now that wasn’t just about safety or authority—it was about not taking the bait.
People lash out when they feel powerless. They say things to get a rise out of you. But if you can stay grounded, stay centered, and keep your cool? You’ve already won.
Emotional Intelligence Is Your Superpower
Both of these stories—one from my son, one from the street—share the same lesson:
Emotional intelligence isn’t about avoiding conflict. It’s about owning your response.
You can’t control what people say.
You can’t stop opinions or rumors or trolls.
But you can control whether you internalize it. You decide what you absorb and what you let bounce off like rain on a windshield.
When someone throws a verbal grenade, you don’t have to catch it. You can let it fall harmlessly to the ground.
So, What Can You Do With This?
Here’s your call to action:
- When someone says something nasty, insulting, or just plain wrong about you—pause.
- Ask yourself: Is this true?
- If it’s not, let it go. Return to sender. Unaccepted.
And if you ever need a reminder?
Just ask yourself: “Am I a giraffe?”
(Trust me, it works.)
Final Thought: Keep the Power Where It Belongs
Other people’s words can’t define you unless you let them.
Their labels don’t stick unless you glue them on yourself.
And their judgment? That’s a mirror of them, not a reflection of you.
So, the next time someone tries to hand you a gift you didn’t ask for—a label, an insult, a projection—channel your inner Buddha. Smile. Decline it. Walk away.
Because that gift?
It’s not yours to carry.
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Have a great day. Keep communicating. Like, share, and do the thing with the buttons. 🦒😉